Article By Khushi

WHY ACCEPTANCE MATTERS MORE THAN ‘FIXING’

Every child experiences the world in their own unique way. Some children think visually, some feel deeply, some learn through movement, and some communicate without words. Autism is simply one of these natural variations in human experience. Instead of asking how to change autistic children to fit societal expectations, many families, researchers, and autistic adults are now asking a much more compassionate and meaningful question: “How can we support autistic children in being themselves and help them grow with confidence, dignity, and joy?” This shift from “fixing” to accepting is at the heart of the neurodiversity movement. Understanding Neurodiversity in Autism the term neurodiversity, introduced by autistic sociologist Judy Singer, suggests that differences in the brain, such as autism, are not flaws, but natural variations. Autism is not a behavioural problem or a lack of potential; it is a different neurological wiring that may include: Unique sensory preferences Difference in communication style Deep focus and passion-driven interests Alternative ways of processing social information Research from Cambridge University and MIT shows that autistic individuals often excel in areas such as pattern recognition, analytical thinking, honesty, and creativity. These are not weaknesses these are strengths. Why Acceptance Matters More Than Correction When children are constantly told to change who they are, they begin to internalize the idea that they are wrong. A 2023 study published in Autism Research found that autistic children who experience acceptance from family and school environments show: Higher self-esteem Better emotional regulation Reduced anxiety and depression Improved social engagement Acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring challenges. It means acknowledging needs without trying to erase identity. Support Doesn’t Mean Changing Who They Are Some interventions in the past focused heavily on making autistic children appear “typical”—discouraging stimming, forcing eye contact, or insisting on neurotypical social behaviour. While intentions may have been positive, research now shows that these expectations can lead to masking, where a child hides who they are just to avoid judgement. Masking is linked to: Burnout Social exhaustion Mental health struggles Identity confusion Instead, support should focus on helping a child navigate the world safely and confidently—without demanding that they stop being autistic. Respectful Support Looks Like This Instead of asking a child to change, we adjust the environment and expectations. Old mindset Neurodiversity-affirming mindset “How do we stop this behaviour?” “What is this behaviour communicating?” “They need to learn eye contact.” “Communication is valid, even without eye contact.” “He must sit still to learn.” “Movement helps him focus and process.” “She needs to socialize more.” “She may connect differently; that’s okay.” Acceptance creates emotional safety which research shows is the strongest foundation for learning. Creating a World Where Autistic Children Belong Around the world, more spaces are becoming autism inclusive: Sensory-friendly classrooms Communication options like AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) and sign Flexible work and learning environments Strength-based teaching approaches The message is becoming clear: Autism is not something to eliminate. It is a form of human diversity worth respecting and celebrating. How Parents Can Foster Acceptance Here are practical steps supported by developmental research: Validate their communication style, spoken or not. Follow their interests, they are pathways to learning. Build predictable routines to reduce anxiety. Create sensory-friendly spaces at home and school. Advocate for accommodations, not conformity. Treat their differences with curiosity, not correction. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up—it means building up. A Final Thought: Your Child Is Enough Your autistic child is not waiting to become someone else. They are already complete, already growing, already worthy. Acceptance tells them: You are not a problem to solve. Your way of thinking matters. There is space for you in this world, just as you are. Autism is not a barrier to a meaningful life, it is one of many ways to experience being human. And when we shift from trying to change autistic children to helping them belong, we open the door to their confidence, strengths, and future.